I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
