My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
