So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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