so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize