I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
