What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
