Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Is it because I queefed?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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