shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
