were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
