You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
