Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
