In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
