So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I believe in your delicious
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize