id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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