we're blogging at a bar
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
