hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize