Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
