last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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