Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my being single is dangerous.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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