I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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