Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
