Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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