P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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