My brain says no but my pants say off.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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