My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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