I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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