remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize