I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
