She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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