Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
