im having a threesome with these popsicles
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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