New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
