so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you win again, gameday.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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