One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
