how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
