I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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