whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
