My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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