Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
