is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
why do cheetos always look like penises
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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