It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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