I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
