the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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