3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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