All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
