There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
