Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
