You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
