**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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