Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize