Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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