I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
this will be a night to untag.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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