Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
