I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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