Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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