I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
