I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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