I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
