What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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