you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
