kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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