Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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