Only a mothe r could love this liver
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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