So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
