He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize