The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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